So much has been going on in life lately that I just don’t know where to begin.
This past month has been one hell of a whirlwind and I was barley holding on. I don’t know how I did it, because I most certainly didn’t do a good job with practicing self-care, but I did. Somehow, I grabbed a hold of what little strength I was able to muster up inside me every day, and got through the struggle.
This past month has been hard on me for a couple of reasons. It has nothing to do with my personal life, but everything to do with my work life. I work in a very hard and very intense field, with a very, very, very hard population. Sometimes, if I’m not careful and on top of my own personal self-care, a lot of the negative energy, anxiety, stress, and worries that come from my work can slip into my personal life. This is exactly what happened.
I won’t bore you with the details (not that I can really share much with you anyways due to confidentiality), so I’ll just give it all to you in somewhat of a nutshell. I have been experiencing the following things this past month which has made life a huge struggle as of late:
- Bullying. Believe it or not, an adult I may be but I still experience bullying. What sucks the most about it is that it’s not from my co-workers, it’s from the population that I work itself. The really sad and unfortunate thing about this is that this is normal behavior for this population, so you just kind of have to take the punches when they’re thrown.
- Uncertainty. I’m the type of person who will not follow through on something that I have potentially made a long-term commitment to if I don’t feel fulfilled. That’s exactly how I feel at my current job. I took it because it had everything I could truthfully and honestly support in a program that works with at risk youth. However, I’m just not feeling fulfilled.
- Clarity. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing but a lot of things that I have never taken the time to think about in regards to working in this field, and with this population, have come to light. I can’t ignore it either. I have to acknowledge that the clarity is there, accept it and find an appropriate way to deal with it.
- Lack of purpose. I don’t feel like I’m valued by anyone for what I do. This again is a normal part of working in this field, but man when your humanity is stronger than the thick skin you have learned to cover your body in, not feeling valued or appreciated hurts. Which would probably explain part of why I don’t feel fulfilled.
- Lack of connection. There is no connection what so ever. Not from my co-workers or my residents, nothing. I’m just there and sometimes it feels like I’m just taking up space. Which I know isn’t the case but again, my humanity is stronger than my thick skin.
I could go on and on about all the things that have been dragging me down as of late, but I won’t. The things I have stated above for the most part are the main things that I have had to experience, go through, and put up with nearly every single day last month. As I’m sure you can imagine it was exhausting! I’m sure it was probably exhausting reading it, because it was exhausting writing it so yeah, it was exhausting having to live through it. I never want to get to a low point like this in my life again so from here on out I’m going to do a better job of making sure that I am engaging in effective self-care.
This past month has been a reminder of how important it is to practice self-care. Not just weekly, or monthly, or whenever you “find the time to do it”, but daily. It doesn’t have to be something that requires you to be prepared in advance, or something that will take up a good portion of your time throughout the day. It just needs to be something that can immediately re-center you when you need it most.
There is a reason why self-care is so important. I’m sure you hear people talking about it all the time, especially if you work in the helping profession field. It’s not just because it’s good for your health or your state of mind, but because it’s good for your overall life. Practicing self-care gives you appropriate coping skills, helps you maintain a healthy relationship with yourself, and holds you accountable to live your best life.
Coping Skills
When you practice self-care, you develop coping skills to help you manage throughout the day. Especially when you find yourself facing something challenging and you need a healthy coping skill that is easy to access. Some examples of easily accessible coping skills as a result of practicing self-care are:
- Deep breathing
- Going for a walk
- Journaling
- Seeking emotional support
- Venting
These aren’t by any means the only or the greatest form of coping when experiencing an emotional imbalance. They are just some examples that I have personally used and find work really well for me. Regardless of what your most effective coping skill may be, it’s helpful to have at least three that you can access very easily, and can cycle through when one of them does not seem to be working.
A Healthy Relationship with Yourself
Practicing self-care really does promote and encourage you to have a healthy relationship with yourself. I can honestly say that before I understood what it meant to engage in self-care, the relationship I had with myself was a very unhealthy one. Since practicing self-care, which has been for about two years now, I find that the relationship I have with myself now is completely different than the relationship I had with myself then. This is how:
- My confidence has increased
- I am more mindful of my diet
- I am inspired to consistently find new ways to practice self-care
- I live a happier life
- I feel more rooted in the decisions that I make to better my life
- I know my self-worth and I honor it truthfully
These are just a couple of ways that practicing self-care has changed the kind of relationship that I have with myself. Honestly, my life is not perfect and it’s not where I want it to be yet, but I am in a much better place than I was five years ago. Five years ago, I would have done anything to be free of myself. Now, I will do anything to live truthfully through every little thing about me that once made me uneasy. This is because I have grown form a state of not loving myself to a state of loving myself, all from practicing self-care.
Living Your Best Life
Simply put you are presented more opportunities in life to make it more fulfilling. When you practice self-care you naturally begin to feel good about yourself from the inside out. When you feel good about yourself you want others to take notice. When others take notice, you find the inspiration and motivation to continue to do whatever it is you are doing, so that you can continue the cycle of feeling good from the inside out. This is how we boost our self-esteem and build upon our confidence in healthy, natural, and fulfilling ways. Thus, how you truthfully live your best life.
There you have it. I know it can become a very tiring thing having people constantly reminding you to practice self-care, but there is a reason why it is stressed as much as it is. These are just a few of the reasons why, and the biggest reasons why I personally do it. Whatever the reason may be, just be sure to practice it as often as possible. It’s a really good skill to have under your belt because you never know when life is going to hit you hard. When it does you want to be able to have access to some effective coping skills.
Do you practice self-care? If so, what are some self-care practices you engage in? Sound off below!
-Xo
Kimora
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